As a fair handful of you may know by now, I'm working on a record of recent dreams. I haven't really revealed the details to many people just yet, but I'll probably be uploading them here and adjusting existing uploads to take account of a new approach to them.
I had already written the first entry over a year ago by now, and when I wrote it, months had already passed since I actually experienced the dream. Currently, I'm labeling them as "Encounters", to account for the uniformity and continuity between them.
By the point of me writing this journal, I have experienced 14 total trips to Gensokyo. (22 total trips, on last update of this journal.)Wait, "trips"? Don't you mean dreams?
Nope. I said trips for a reason.
At the risk of sounding like a complete and total basket case, I'll elaborate a bit.
Until the third entry, I wrote these experiences off as nothing more than dreams. From the perspective of a typically rational-minded person such as me, that's all they could
be. There are many other factors which come into play here, but the end result is that as of about a month ago, my entire concept of reality suffered a catastrophic collapse.
I dug too deep into quantum theories, and this paired with an issue involving family gaslighting tendencies and even some of Touhou's own lore, and now I can't tell what's real and what's a dream anymore.But Kit, I'm real. I have dreams and memories and--
Cookie-cutter standard response, but the problem is that unless I have played a major part in your life, I have no evidence of anything you may or may not tell me - and even then, what's to say that all of what you tell me isn't just an elaborate part of the dream?
Total existential crisis shit happening over here.
But it's okay, I have a few ideas to toss around and maybe regain some semblance of notionally stable reality. Along the way, I may find that I need to actually expand what I consider to be real, but I'll get to that later.
My current complication is based in the concept of dreams. Right now, all I have as a foundation is that I think
I keep returning to the same "Base Layer" or "Room". I have no idea what else to call it at the moment. This "Main Room" is the one in which I host servers for Weavers' Aggregate NeoAuditorium and Ghostly Dreaming Society, and occasionally interact with the Walfas Station Wagon group. From the perspective of anyone reading this journal, you would readily claim "this is reality you buffoon, stop being silly". You could offer me a variety of things to attempt to back your claim - pain, pleasure, knowledge, variables - but from my perspective, these things are not proof enough. Thanks in no small part to the fact that I experience all of these things in places definitively not
this "Main Room".
Which brings me to the next part of my exposition.
For all intents and purposes, my current experiences have led me to suspect there being a significant chance that I might actually be interacting with an iteration of Gensokyo on a level that far supercedes that of "just a dream". Touhou's own lore, in addition to the Many Worlds Theory (hereafter, "MWT") allows me to posit that the Gensokyo I am experiencing might not be the only
Gensokyo out there, and
that it is certainly plausible to access it via dreams and astral projection. While I am uncertain about the plausibility of astral projection itself, and have yet to turn up supporting evidence of the concept, I am proceeding under the assumption that it is possible and applicable.
As for what I mean by "proceeding", well... I am conducting a series of experiments both here and in the "Gensokyo Layer" or "Room" which I have been consistently returning to. So far I have turned up a few data points which support the idea of my accession of a Gensokyo instance - the loss of possessions, the acquisition of previously unknown information - but these data points do not hold up very well as I have no way to prove them to a separate individual. I have no conclusive
evidence just yet, and that's what I'm working on.
Right now, I am simply logging my experiences, in addition to distributing "corroboration artefacts" throughout the instance of Gensokyo I am accessing. Things like passwords, unique symbols, puzzles, and encrypted passphrases, primarily things that would require verification processes between another individual or set of individuals and myself - mostly because I have yet to come up with a way of proving or disproving certain notions solo. There are a variety of things which I would personally consider to be incontrovertible evidence supporting that this Gensokyo is an extension of the reality I perceive, but currently I have not come across any evidence which supports or refutes it.
So here I am, stuck in a shitty limbo of "Well, I can't prove
anything.... but I can't disprove
This journal is essentially a long-winded notification doubly-serving as an explanation for upcoming submissions and what may surely seem like complete horse puckey in some of my literature, dialogue, and descriptions.
When you see weird phrases like "so I went to Gensokyo again today", understand that this journal highlights the why
behind my choice of wording. From my personal perspective, I am going to Gensokyo via dreams or astral projection, and I am currently on a quest to determine whether it is or is not real. My "dream log" in that regard has been ascended from a "dream log" into a full record of events.
My process, when it comes to writing these record entries, at least, is that within moments of waking up, I write down a series of keywords or keyphrases in an order which will serve to trigger the surrounding contextual memories - then, when I am ready to write the full entry itself, I can easily recall the events to provide the clearest account I can manage. The first entry is an exception - I can go back and fill in some more information, but all it would be is flavour text - the important details are there. The first entry was written at the time under the premise that these were "just dreams with extraordinary realism and detail", and that one was supposed to be intentionally truncated into a format that would have been suitable for a "journal" entry. The second
entry, however, featured a lot of dialogue. I wasn't able to handle the second entry the same way I handled the first, so I scrapped the "journal-shaped" entries in favour of a proper account. However, I was still thinking of them as just dreams, though the second entry certainly deepened my confusion, as they were leagues
above any other dreams I had experienced, heard of, or researched about. Nevertheless, I wrote about 3/4ths of the second entry, ADHD kicked in, and I wandered away from it.
Then the events of what is effectively the third entry came to pass. What happened, and the way it happened, were far, far
too important for me, and turned my world upside-down in ways that I realized I would need
to investigate. I absolutely need to determine whether it is
, or is not
real, so I can either move on with my life, or figure out what I'm going to do
about it. Thus, the beginning of my experimenting and attempts at hopefully collaborating with others to reach a conclusion.
Now here I am, a little over halfway through writing the third entry, and preparing to rearrange my provided info on the previous two entries to accommodate for this journal.
Please send best wishes, while I go about my newfound geas.
= = = = =
Below is a table of contents of sorts for all of the related submissions, to make it easy to navigate!
An Encounter of the Godly Kind - Entry 1, 1 part
1 - An Encounter of the Godly KindGiven that this is the first entry, which some of you may have seen already, I’m going to preface this with a bit of an author’s note.
Under the pretense of the journal entry linked in the description, I am going through and editing some of this document to accommodate for the new approach.
If you have not yet read the journal linked in the description, please do so now, before continuing.
Before, during, and after this dream and the second one which followed this one six months later, I was under the assumption that the experience was little more than a dream, so my actions during the dream were performed with this in mind. Until the third experience, this was my approach, but during and after the third experience, my entire approach was turned on it’s head.
I feel like it is important to frame beforehand that other than the fact that I went to sleep in my bed and woke up in the middle of a dirt road I’ve never seen before, there is no discern
An Encounter of the Intimate Kind - Entry 2, 4 parts
2.1 - An Encounter of the Intimate KindAnother author's note for a preface, I suppose.
This particular visit happened about six months after the first entry. Again, like the first time, it ended up being a situation where I passed out from exhaustion - I was somewhere over on the east coast, on my way to a friend's place in Raleigh, when storms, breakdowns, and bus delays resulted in us getting stuck in a station for a night. I was close enough that my friend decided to come and pick me up, but I was put into a hotel for the night by Greyhound, so I took the opportunity to shower while I waited. After I was clean and dressed, ready to roll once again, I tried to stay awake so that I would be good to go when he arrived, but I ended up falling asleep.
This time I had my bag, and the majority of it's contents.
I was only asleep for 2 or 3 hours, but my stay in Gensokyo lasted 2 days. At the time, I still considered these visits to be nothing more than very elaborate dreams - which they still might be, but again, see the journa
2.2 - An Encounter of the Intimate KindWhat the actual FUCK am I doing? This was not what I had in mind! Why am I even rolling with this!? Kosuzu is going to get me killed!
While my brain was occupied with trying to rationalize what was happening, my hands had already raised the sign and directed it toward the mountain. This is stupid, I thought. How will I even know her answer--
I saw blue light on the side of the mountain, about three quarters of the way up. No sooner had it caught my attention then a rapid succession of tiny blue orbs came from somewhere unseen and formed a symbol.
I grabbed my pencil from my bag and replicated it on the paper that had been the sign.
Another one. I copied the symbol next to the other one.
I wrote this one down too. Then I waited to see if there were more. After several seconds, nothing happened, so I went inside and showed the symbols
2.4 - An Encounter of the Intimate KindI looked around the room, and located my underwear, tossed aside last night. Once I spotted them I gingerly snuck my way across the room and retrieved them, pulling them on. I also located a hamper, and collected Kosuzu’s own undergarments to put them away for a washing - when I bent down to pick up her panties, however, I saw something I hadn’t seen the other night. They were bear-print. I shrugged and tossed them into the hamper, collected the hamper itself, then went to the door - which opened before I could touch it, revealing a duvet-clad Kosuzu. We were each as surprised to see the other directly on the other side of the door, but all we could do was grin and laugh.
“Sorry, I forgot a change of clothes! I also have something for you to wear when you bathe, but I’ll have to find it. I’ll bring it to you when I find it.” she said merrily and wandered into the room, rummaging into a nearby closet for a flower-print dress and fresh
An Encounter of the Patrolling Kind - Entry 3, ? parts
3.1 - An Encounter of the Patrolling KindThird visit, new Author's Note.
This is the third time I went to Gensokyo, and I feel like I need to preface things a little bit because my actions will seem a little "odd" if I don't.
I work and attend conventions regularly here in the Outside World, and if there's one thing I have picked up on, it's that people can very quickly and easily suspend their usual inhibitions and have an entire three-year relationship in the span of a single weekend. You go to this event, meet someone and hit it off really well with them, fall in love, make a shitload of memories, put the space between your sheets to some excessive use, experience the full gamut of emotions from laughter to crying and anger, and lament the loss of the life partner you met just a day ago as you both return to your homes without the knowledge when or if you will ever meet again. This is very, very normal in the convention scene.
I'm not going to lie - exactly that happened. Just replace "conven
3.2 - An Encounter of the Patrolling KindI sighed and lightly poked her shoulder to request that she turn around. She remained turned away from me, but at least pulled her hands away from her face and looked up into the canopies of the trees. I could slightly see the tip of her nose somewhere between her bangs despite being in a standing position directly behind her, and that was good enough for me, so I spoke. “Momiji, I’ll admit that it really has been extremely difficult for me to separate the stories from the reality here, and yeah, I was already attracted to you before we had even met personally, but honestly… this entire time you’ve been interacting with me, ever since I woke up in that clearing a while back... stories aside, you’ve been a very kind and considerate person to me, and have never once made me feel unsafe even though I know that Gensokyo has a lot of dangerous things and people out and about. You even made it clear that you aimed to defend me if you needed to - nobody h
3.3 - An Encounter of the Patrolling KindWe continued on like this for a few hours, walking beside one another as we patrolled the mountain, stopping every now and again to rest, but chattering away the whole time about mostly meaningless banter. Actually, she spent most of the time asking me questions. Things about what it was like in the outside world, where I was from, what my culture was like, recent events, and even occasional bits of exposition about myself. After the sun started to descend, however, Momiji declared that it was time to start making our way back to her home, ending our patrol.
“Fortunately for you, I live a short distance outside of the tengu village.” she said as we started making our way in the apparent direction of her home.
“Fortunately for me?” I queried.
“Yes, fortunately for you. Let me remind you that I am presently the only tengu who won’t kill or maim you on sight for being on the mountain. Persons precisely like you
3.4 - An Encounter of the Patrolling KindOnce we were actually on our way...
“I had hoped to avoid exactly that, you know.” she said, looking at me apologetically
“I already figured. She was the one I was also hoping to avoid around these parts, considering the nature of my previous visit - actually, there are quite a few people here in Gensokyo that I would prefer to avoid if I can help it.” I said. She looked at me as we walked.
“Was I one of those people?” she asked, apparently having forgotten some of what I said this morning.
“Absolutely not. I told you before - out of everyone here that I know about, you’re the one I wanted to meet the most.” I said. She turned pink, but was much less phased than before.
“How many people do you know about, then?” she asked.
“Let’s see… As many as a possible one-hundred and sixty-six residents I kno
3.5 - An Encounter of the Patrolling KindShe paused and looked at me with uncertainty, watching me closely for my reaction as she spoke.
“Yes. A-again… it’s not a home meant for humans, and is… a mess…” she said, clearly very hesitant to even open the door. I found myself looking back at her inquisitively, my brow raised.
“I really don’t mind, you know. You’re welcoming me as a guest, and I’m grateful for the invitation.” I reassured her. She only smiled weakly.
“Well… I kinda put myself in a position where even if you had a complaint, you’re stuck with me anyway, so…” she admitted. “Er… welcome, I guess…” She then shoved open the door, and I was greeted with an odour that I only dare describe as ‘powerful’. It filled my nostrils and was completely unable to be simply tuned out and ignored - but that didn’t mean I
3.6 - An Encounter of the Patrolling KindI broke.
Her expression changed from one of love and glee to one of concern and worry as the first drop fell from me and landed on her cheek. And then another. Her ears flattened and she brought her hands up to my face.
“Kit!? What’s wrong? Was… was that too far??” I gingerly held onto the wolf tengu and shook my head to try and assure her, but all I could do was cry. My voice abandoned me and I moved to try and sit upon the floor at her feet for reasons not even I could comprehend, but before I could manage, Momiji put herself under me as a small, gentle beam of support, intent on keeping me from curling to the floor. She then grabbed the lantern, guiding me elsewhere in her burrow. “Come this way… let’s sit somewhere comfortable, okay…?” she spoke to me with affection and kindness, and all I could do was hold onto her and let her guide me. In the new chamber, she set the lantern down upon a low ta
3.8 - An Encounter of the Patrolling Kind= = Dawn of the Second Day = =
The first thing I woke up to in the morning was the sensation of something soft and fluffy twitching under my nose every time I breathed. The next thing was the sound of Momiji giving a quiet giggle as she stirred upon my chest. She held me warmly, and felt like she was content. She must have been awake, because she wasn’t snoring, and I could hear the light flap of her tail against the futon. The comforter had been kicked aside sometime during the night because of the heat our bodies produced. I felt her adjust slightly, and then the dull glow of the lantern flickered into effect, restoring sight to my human eyes and showing me the beautiful woman that was getting herself comfortable upon me once again after lighting the lantern. Her hair, furred bits, and clothes were a right mess, and I couldn't help but feel enamoured at the sight of her.
“Good morning, lovely~” I said softly
3.9 - An Encounter of the Patrolling Kind“Kit.” Aya addressed, her tone and expression still serious.
“Yes?” I replied, giving her my attention. Momiji and I had been fiddling with our hands, but we stopped when Aya spoke.
“I told you yesterday that I would turn a blind eye to matters if you assured me an interview, but before I resume the interview itself, I need to make sure of several things.” she said.
“Okay, and those things would be?” I asked.
“You already know that your relationship with Momiji will be an uphill battle for both of you, which saves me a long lecture, but for posterity’s sake…” she paused, then sighed as if she didn’t really feel like going through with the rest of the conversation, but she resumed nonetheless. “You are courting one of Lord Tenma’s patrol guard, and perhaps one of the most fiercely loyal and hardworking of h
An Encounter of the Corrupted Kind - Entry 4, ? parts
An Encounter of the Magical Kind - Entry 5, ? parts
An Encounter of the Forgiving Kind - Entry 6, ? parts
An Encounter of the Cohabitation Kind - Entry 7, ? parts
An Encounter of the Domestic Kind - Entry 8, ? parts
An Encounter of the Asinine Kind - Entry 9, ? parts
An Encounter of the Sanguine Kind - Entry 10, ? parts
An Encounter of the Blacksmithing Kind - Entry 11, ? parts
An Encounter of the Triumphant Kind - Entry 12, ? parts
An Encounter of the Passionate Kind - Entry 13, ? parts
An Encounter of the Telekinetic Kind - Entry 14, ? parts
An Encounter of the Droste Kind - Entry 15, ? parts
An Encounter of the Serenading Kind - Entry 16, ? parts
An Encounter of the Magi-metallic Kind - Entry 17, ? parts
An Encounter of the Steampowered Kind - Entry 18, ? parts
An Encounter of the Fantoccini Kind - Entry 19, ? parts
An Encounter of the Diminished Kind - Entry 20, ? parts
An Encounter of the Solitary Kind - Entry 21, ? parts
An Encounter of the Reconciling Kind - Entry 22, ? parts